Monday, November 4, 2013

What was I thinking!!....Homeschooling Part 2

The day had arrived. It was August 2012 and the majority of the public schools and private schools around this area were starting school back that morning. I live in a busy neighborhood and I could hear the buses driving by and the kids chattering as they walked to the nearby elementary school. I looked at Facebook that morning and my newsfeed was flooded with adorable first day of school photos. As I sat there scrolling, I started to panic. There I was, 8 months pregnant, with the cutest, but quite possibly the most stubborn two year old on the planet sitting next to me. I looked at my kindergarten age son across the room, and my mind was suddenly flooded with insecurities and fear. Fear of what he might be missing out on. Fear that I would fail at teaching him to read. Fear that I couldn't do what needed to be done once the newborn arrived. And then, a thought crossed my mind...."What.was.I.thinking!!"

I'm pretty sure that anyone who has gone the homeschool route has had this thought, at least a time or two. Doing something that goes against the norm is a scary thing! But, I am so thankful that I fought those fears that I had been feeling that morning. Through prayer, His word, and the wonderful spouse He blessed me with, God gave me the strength I needed to see beyond the insecurities. I started school with that excited, ready to learn kindergartener and we pushed our way through. Through the fear, the tears, the brand new addition to our family, the nap wars, the reading and handwriting wars, the sleepless nights with a newborn, the nursing, sicknesses, hospital stay (when the 2 month old had RSV), the occasional complaining, the search for what was going to work for our family. Some really great days and some really bad days. Yep, it was a bumpy first year for sure. But, I will tell you this, I am better for it. I think my son is, too. I learned as much as he did that year. He was learning to read, write, study his bible, and the beginnings of math. I was learning patience, perseverance and what unconditional love means. By the end of our first year of homeschooling we had a pretty great routine going, and it kind of makes me happy to say that on our last day of my son's kindergarten year, he cried because he did not want to take a "break" from learning. He asked me nearly every day of our summer break if we could start the new curriculum. So, here we are nearly half way finished with our second year of homeschooling. Here are a few things I've learned:

The things that my son and I are gaining through homeschooling are outweighing the things that I feared he would miss out on. I pictured missing out on seeing him off to school that first day, dressed all cute with a cool looking back pack and matching lunchbox. I pictured him experiencing field trips and participating in his school programs for special occasions. It worried me that he might be missing out. What I didn't realize was how incredible it would feel to get to be the one that he read his first chapter of a chapter book to and how we would dance around in pure excitement together after he finished. I couldn't foresee how rewarding it would be to see him finish an assignment that we struggled through together, just knowing that we persevered and we got it done! There was no way for me to realize how much joy he would get out of helping me decide what projects to do with whatever subject we are on. I didn't realize how many hours 7 hours of the day really is. I really do believe that he gets more biblical and practical application lessons in those 7 hours at home with me and his siblings, than he would at school. I didn't consider the fact that I would have all of this time with him to teach him how to be kind and be respectful and make sure that it is being practiced every single day. So, it is my belief, that the trade off is so worth it! (And, by the way, thanks to the growth of homeschooling and our homeschool group, he doesn't miss out on many of those things that I found myself worrying about).

When you homeschool, you talk about homeschooling...A lot. I used to think, wow that's all homeschooling folks ever talk about. I almost perceived it as people being "in my face" about it. But, now, I realize, we talk about it so much because we think about it constantly. "The world is our school room," I've heard it said. So, we are constantly getting ideas and making lesson plans and thinking about the next school day. It becomes your passion, your way of life, your hobby, and your extracurricular activity all in one. Sounds overwhelming I know, but it's pretty great :-).

When you do something that seems out of the ordinary, people are going to question it, and sometimes say unkind things to you. Some people are sincere in their questions; see previous blog post, I was one of those people that found it questionable at first. So, I get it. Maybe that's why I am tough skinned about it. It doesn't bother me (often). In the beginning, with my insecurities, if I had come in contact with a lot of negativity it may have discouraged me. I guess it's good that during that first year, with everything going on, I just didn't get out much! ;-).

You can't do it all. I'm still working on the balance thing. Schooling takes up a lot of time. It's a full time job (and the pay and benefits are pretty incredible). But, I also teach bible class, teach a class at our co-op, have a 3 year old, a 1 year old, a family to cook for, a house that needs to be cleaned, laundry to do, etc. if you saw my house right now you would know which of these things I've had to "let go of" to an extent. It is sanitary, don't get me wrong, lol, but it is frustratingly messy at times. But, everything CANNOT get done that needs to. So, we let things go here and there. It is also helpful to have a husband who is more than willing to help pick up your slack. I was blessed with one of those!! He is as dedicated to homeschooling as I am and is willing to do whatever he can to help make that possible. I'm hoping one day I will be one of those super-women that can single handily get it all done, so that he can relax when he comes home from work, but until that day, it's nice to have such awesome (and incredibly attractive) back up :-).

It's amazing how much you can learn in a year and a half. I feel like I've come a long way and that God has truly blessed me and my family in so many ways. But, I've learned enough to know that we are never done learning. I guess these type of blogs can always end with a "to be continued." :-)

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