The day had arrived. It was August 2012 and the majority of the public schools
and private schools around this area were starting school back that morning. I
live in a busy neighborhood and I could hear the buses driving by and the kids
chattering as they walked to the nearby elementary school. I looked at Facebook
that morning and my newsfeed was flooded with adorable first day of school
photos. As I sat there scrolling, I started to panic. There I was, 8 months
pregnant, with the cutest, but quite possibly the most stubborn two year old on
the planet sitting next to me. I looked at my kindergarten age son across the
room, and my mind was suddenly flooded with insecurities and fear. Fear of what
he might be missing out on. Fear that I would fail at teaching him to read. Fear
that I couldn't do what needed to be done once the newborn arrived. And then, a
thought crossed my mind...."What.was.I.thinking!!"
I'm pretty sure that anyone who has gone the homeschool route has had this
thought, at least a time or two. Doing something that goes against the norm is a
scary thing! But, I am so thankful that I fought those fears that I had been feeling that
morning. Through prayer, His word, and the wonderful spouse He blessed me
with, God gave me the strength I needed to see beyond the insecurities. I
started school with that excited, ready to learn kindergartener and we pushed
our way through. Through the fear, the tears, the brand new addition to our
family, the nap wars, the reading and handwriting wars, the sleepless nights
with a newborn, the nursing, sicknesses, hospital stay (when the 2 month old had
RSV), the occasional complaining, the search for what was going to work for our
family. Some really great days and some really bad days. Yep, it was a bumpy
first year for sure. But, I will tell you this, I am better for it. I think my
son is, too. I learned as much as he did that year. He was learning to read,
write, study his bible, and the beginnings of math. I was learning patience,
perseverance and what unconditional love means. By the end of our first year of
homeschooling we had a pretty great routine going, and it kind of makes me happy
to say that on our last day of my son's kindergarten year, he cried because he
did not want to take a "break" from learning. He asked me nearly every day of
our summer break if we could start the new curriculum. So, here we are nearly
half way finished with our second year of homeschooling. Here are a few things
I've learned:
The things that my son and I are gaining through homeschooling are outweighing
the things that I feared he would miss out on. I pictured missing out on seeing
him off to school that first day, dressed all cute with a cool looking back pack and
matching lunchbox. I pictured him experiencing field trips and participating in
his school programs for special occasions. It worried me that he might be
missing out. What I didn't realize was how incredible it would feel to get to be
the one that he read his first chapter of a chapter book to and how we would
dance around in pure excitement together after he finished. I couldn't foresee
how rewarding it would be to see him finish an assignment that we struggled
through together, just knowing that we persevered and we got it done! There was
no way for me to realize how much joy he would get out of helping me decide what
projects to do with whatever subject we are on. I didn't realize how many hours
7 hours of the day really is. I really do believe that he gets more biblical and practical application
lessons in those 7 hours at home with me and his siblings, than he would at school. I didn't consider the
fact that I would have all of this time with him to teach him how to be kind and
be respectful and make sure that it is being practiced every single day. So, it
is my belief, that the trade off is so worth it! (And, by the way, thanks to the
growth of homeschooling and our homeschool group, he doesn't miss out on many
of those things that I found myself worrying about).
When you homeschool, you talk about homeschooling...A lot. I used to think, wow
that's all homeschooling folks ever talk about. I almost perceived it as people
being "in my face" about it. But, now, I realize, we talk about it so much because
we think about it constantly. "The world is our school room," I've heard it said.
So, we are constantly getting ideas and making lesson plans and thinking about
the next school day. It becomes your passion, your way of life, your hobby, and
your extracurricular activity all in one. Sounds overwhelming I know, but it's
pretty great :-).
When you do something that seems out of the ordinary, people are going to
question it, and sometimes say unkind things to you. Some people are sincere in
their questions; see previous blog post, I was one of those people that found it
questionable at first. So, I get it. Maybe that's why I am tough skinned about
it. It doesn't bother me (often). In the beginning, with my insecurities, if I
had come in contact with a lot of negativity it may have discouraged me. I guess
it's good that during that first year, with everything going on, I just didn't
get out much! ;-).
You can't do it all. I'm still working on the balance thing. Schooling takes up
a lot of time. It's a full time job (and the pay and benefits are pretty
incredible). But, I also teach bible class, teach a class at our co-op, have a 3
year old, a 1 year old, a family to cook for, a house that needs to be cleaned,
laundry to do, etc. if you saw my house right now you would know which of these
things I've had to "let go of" to an extent. It is sanitary, don't get me wrong,
lol, but it is frustratingly messy at times. But, everything CANNOT get done
that needs to. So, we let things go here and there. It is also helpful to have
a husband who is more than willing to help pick up your slack. I was blessed
with one of those!! He is as dedicated to homeschooling as I am and is willing
to do whatever he can to help make that possible. I'm hoping one day I will be
one of those super-women that can single handily get it all done, so that he can
relax when he comes home from work, but until that day, it's nice to have such
awesome (and incredibly attractive) back up :-).
It's amazing how much you can learn in a year and a half. I feel like I've come
a long way and that God has truly blessed me and my family in so many ways.
But, I've learned enough to know that we are never done learning. I guess these
type of blogs can always end with a "to be continued." :-)

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